Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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