Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
His nipple licking is glorious
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