no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
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