Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
Randomize
