lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
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