I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
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