if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
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