My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
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