According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
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