im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
