are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
