ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
Randomize
