i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
