my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
Randomize
