Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
My dad is sitting where you rode me
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
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