she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
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