hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
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