Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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