he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
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