are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Randomize
