My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
Randomize
