Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
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