I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
Yo dont text me then not text me
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
Randomize
