The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
MIDGETS
????
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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