wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Randomize
