it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
Randomize
