I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Randomize
