Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
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