Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
