Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
