Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
