capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
