There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
We don't watch enough power rangers
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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