id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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