on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
It was a blind-side dick pic.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Randomize
