Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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