She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
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