i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Randomize
