STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
