do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
