awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
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