my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
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