So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
