I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
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