I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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