My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
Randomize
