can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
I need to align my fucking chakras
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