guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
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