I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
wow bdsm is so cute
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