I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
You are a genius and a whore.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
Randomize
