your thong is hanging out like whoa
So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
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