i may or may not be watching the land before time
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
